Okay, the video of me reading an extract from The Demi-Monde: WInter is now out there on YouTube et al and I HATE it. And the reason I hate it is simple: I took my eye off the ball.
I read an article a couple of years ago in which some item moaned about Madonna being a bitch control freak who micro-managed everything. And now I can understand why she's like that: you can't trust anybody. What I should have done when the video was being shot was the following:
1. Insisted on having a tele-prompt. It's impossible to give a decent performance when you're forever having to keep looking down at a piece of paper. In future no tele-prompt, no gig.
2. Sorted out the microphone. You have to be separately miked otherwise the sound is shit. Microphones on video cameras just ain't up to the job. In future no separate mike, no gig.
3. Checked the angle of the video camera. Lo-aspects are great when you wanna make a girl's legs look about a hundred metres long but they're TERRIBLE for faces. In future I get veto on camera angles, or no gig.
4. Checked the lighting. When you're 16 and have firm and flawless flesh you can take any sort of lighting, post 40 you've got to be careful or you end up looking like I did: Max Headroom with a penchant for pies. In future I set up the lighting or no gig.
Come to think of it next time I'll do the whole bloody thing myself, then I'll be able to maintain a Madonna-esque level of control.
Anyway, for the more goulish of you, here's the video. Oh, yeah, I better warn you there's some stiff language used.