I've been neglecting everything lately (blog, personal hygiene etc.) as I worked to finish 'Tesla vs The Martians', but as I'm due to talk at the Edge-Lit thingy in Derby tomorrow, I had to think about 'Getting Published'. The result is below.
ROD REES’S EIGHT RULES
OF WRITING
Over the last nine months I’ve written the first of a new
series of books (‘Tesla vs The Martians’, 123,000 words condensed down from
150,000) the fate of which is now in the lap of the god (aka ‘my Agent’), and
with this trauma still fresh in my mind I guess now’s as good time as any to
consider what I’ve learned about writing.
I set these rules down with a certain trepidation. I never
thought I’d quote Noel Gallagher (Oasis was a shit band), but in an interview
he gave to The Independent he said of
Mario Balotelli that, ‘He’s like all naturally talented people: he’s not got a
clue what he’s doing’. I think I could paraphrase this to read; ‘All published
writers haven’t really got a clue
what they’re doing’. Of course, the amount of verbiage written on the subject
of ‘How to Write’ might appear to give the lie to that particular statement,
but having read some of this, often contradictory, advice, I’ve a feeling that
I’m right … or should that be write. I’ll give it a shot anyway.
One other thing before I begin: I write SciFi thrillers,
which are, by definition, fast-paced and, well, pretty fantastic so if you’re
an aspiring Dostoevsky or James Joyce then, perhaps, my rules ain’t for you.
A short preamble. I stumbled into writing. Five years ago I
decided, on a whim, to write a book. I had no experience in writing (I’m an
accountant by trade), never took a course on ‘How to Write’ and never, really,
thought too much about the career I was about to embark on. I chose to write SciFi
simply because I’d been a fan of it when I was young (Asimov, Herbert, Farmer,
Wells et al) which was a loooooooooooooong time ago.
So it was a writer’s life for me and driven by naïve
enthusiasm I hit the computer and wrote for one year. The result was my
‘re-imagining’ of Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde, a story I called ‘Dark
Charismatic’, a real beast of a book that weighed in at 220,000 words, which I
trimmed back to 190,000. Perfect! So perfect it was rejected by everybody!
Hardly surprising. Consider: in a conversation with my agent
(get me: ‘my agent’) he advised me that during his time in the business he’d
received something north of six thousand submissions from would-be writers and
as he’s currently got a stable (or should that be a pen) of forty-three authors
that comes out at a newby having something like one chance in a hundred and
fifty of securing an agent. It ain’t easy to get an agent and without an agent
getting published is nigh-on impossible.
ROD’S RULE OF WRITING
#1: If you ain’t got the hide of a rhinoceros, writing ain’t for you. Rejection
and criticism is part and parcel of a writer’s life so if you can’t take it …
In fact my suspicion is that writing is a covert government-sponsored
scheme to keep people with ideas off the streets. Better that they’re holed up
in their bedroom/office/shed typing nonsense than they’re actually meshing with
reality. Which brings me on to my next rule:
ROD’S RULE OF WRITING
# 2: Unless you really, really believe you’ve got the talent to write a novel
that will knock a reader for six then stop now. Right now! This instant! Do
something more productive with your life, like taking up knitting or rat
juggling.
Rule # 2 is important. I’ve sat in on numerous writers’
groups and generally found my fellow scribblers to be a rather nice bunch of
people and nice people try not to hurt the feelings of others. So you’ll be
seduced by expressions like ‘that was interesting’ and ‘I think with a little
bit of work that could be really good,’ into believing that you are a talented
writer. And if you ain’t, you’re wasting your time ... a lot of time.
Anyway … back to me.
After ‘Dark Charismatic’ I wrote for another year and came up with ‘Invent-10n’. Another 200,000 words.
It was crap, so I rejected it (I had
my reputation as a failed writer to think about, after all).
I wrote for another
year slaving on ‘The Demi-Monde’. It sold! And now with the four books in the
Demi-Monde series delivered to my publisher, I have exceeded the one million
word mark which Ray Bradbury (RIP) believed was the benchmark for any writer. And
being a fully paid-up member of the One Million Word Club I get to dish out
advice of which the third instalment is:
ROD’S RULES OF
WRITING # 3: If you wanna be a writer … write. Don’t take courses, don’t join
writers’ groups, don’t read books – this is all busy work – just fucking write. Every day. One
thousand words minimum. Anything else is just posing. Real writers write,
ersatz writers think about writing.
I try to keep to a schedule where I write an average of 3,000 words per day (21,000
per week), which is then factored down to 1,000 words per day because for every
day I spend writing I spend two days editing/reviewing/correcting/despairing.
On this basis, attending a weekend workshop on ‘How to
Write’ is an expensive indulgence. A weekend spent talking about writing costs you 6,000 words or 5% of that book you’ve
been trying to finish. Think about it, then go home and write.
So, let’s say you’ve convinced yourself that you possess
both the drive and the talent to be a writer, the question is what should you
write? What I hope isn’t the answer, is a short story. Writing short stories
(unless your name happens to be Ernest Hemmingway or Stephen King) is the
literary equivalent of jerking off: fast, fun and a totally non-productive. Worse,
short stories use up storylines, characters and (most, valuable of all) plot
twists at an alarming rate. Ideas are the life essence of any writer so don’t
squander them.
Ah, do I hear the protest which says, ‘short stories are a
great way to get your name out there!’ Answer: bollocks … nobody reads short
stories any more.
More, ‘it’s a great way of learning your craft’. Answer: er,
bollocks².
The editing of most short stories is cursory in the extreme so the feedback
you’re going to get is superficial at best.
Yet more; ‘it’s a great way to earn as I learn’. Answer:
bollocks³.
I’ve had four shorts published in my brief career as a writer and I’ve earned
precisely … £50!
ROD’S RULES OF
WRITING # 4: Never, ever be tempted to write short stories. They are the
literary world’s equivalent of travelling at speed down a cul-de-sac.
Now ignore Rule # 4, because my belief is that every chapter
of your book should be a short story, having:
·
A point:
if the old adage ‘make every word count’ is important, then every chapter has
to have a purpose. It might be introducing/developing a character, moving the
plot forward, adding tension by stirring up a conflict, any number of things. But
whatever a chapter’s role in life, it must – in my humble – be self-contained, which,
once read, leaves the reader with a feeling of completeness.
·
A killer
opening line: there’s been a lot said about how important it is for a book
to begin with a ‘the clock struck thirteen’, an oh-my-gosh-that’s-clever
opening line, but if a chapter is a book in microcosm, doesn’t it deserve the
same treatment?
·
A
denouement: just like any story a chapter should have a beginning, middle
and an end (though not necessarily in that order) … especially an end. Why an
end? Because it’s that which makes the reader eager to move on to the next
chapter. Mini-cliff-hangers (hill-hangers?) are good.
·
A zinger
of a last line: promoting the ‘wow, I’ve just gotta read what happens
next!’ syndrome.
ROD’S RULES OF
WRITING # 5: Treat each chapter as a self-contained short story: it’ll discipline
your writing and help keep your readers entertained.
Next up are characters. I invest a LOT of time
developing/tweaking my characters and I do this for the simple reason that they
are actors performing in the theatre of my mind (God, that sounds pompous!). And
like all actors they are always jockeying to be in the spotlight. Encourage
them … and if this requires a little over-acting on their part so be it: surely
it’s better to have your story populated by characters who, though they were
bloody annoying/offensive/disagreeable, are at least memorable. The reality is
that the best characters transcend the story – think Long John Silver,
Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Flashman – all of these were just a touch OTT.
The true test of Hollywood star power is whether the actor
can open a movie, and I believe that the ones who can (and there are only a
handful) are touched by the pixie dust that makes them larger than life. Similarly,
a great character is one who can get a reader to open a book … and it’s your job
as a writer to be continually auditioning for the next fictional superstar.
In this regard, my approach is to develop characters who are
flawed. A hero who is saintly, resolute, trustworthy and kind to animals is
also bloody boring. It’s the dark psychosis that haunts Batman that makes him
such a great character … just as it’s the absence of any inner conflict which
has condemned Green Lantern to being an also-ran in the superhero stakes. No
one remembers a nice guy.
The other problem with characterisation is what I call
‘character drifting’ … a character drifting through the story who doesn’t
impose his or her personality/attitudes on what’s happening. He or she simply
observes and makes bland comments. To my mind, it’s no good giving a character
a back story unless that character’s actions are influenced by what happened to
him/her.
ROD’S RULES OF
WRITING # 6: Push your characters, always remembering that it’s their flaws
rather than their virtues which will make them stick in the mind.
Okay, enough about characters. Let’s talk about editing … your editing. I generally find that if
I’m aiming to write a book of, say, 100,000 words then I’ve got to write around
120,000 words. The reason for this is simple, the pace/rhythm of a book is
determined as much by what you leave out as by what you leave in.
A lot of what I write in the first draft of a book isn’t for
the reader’s benefit, it’s for mine. I need to know where the action is taking
place, what time of day it is, what’s the weather like, that sort of stuff but
when it comes to the final edit I realise that most of this is unnecessary
verbiage, worse, it’s the descriptive dross that most readers will skip anyway.
My policy is to only leave something in the book which, if it isn’t read, will
somehow diminish the reader’s understanding of what is or, more often, what
will be happening in the story.
Having said that, self-editing is a difficult process BUT,
believe me, it’s better (and a damned sight less humiliating) for you to do it
than your editor.
ROD’S RULE OF WRITING
# 7: If a scene is there simply to describe a situation ask yourself whether it
should be binned. With descriptive dross it’s far better that it’s you hitting
the ‘delete’ button than for the publisher to hit the ‘reject’ button.
Okay, nearly done. The last thing I always do when I’ve
finished a chapter is to read it aloud (preferably when you’re alone otherwise
the neighbours start to talk). I pretend that I’m reading it out on the radio
(sad really, but writing’s a lonely occupation and you tend to go a little stir
crazed). Odd behaviour though this is, it’s also bloody useful in that it
accomplishes three things:
·
It’ll help you spot those irritating echoes that
will have infected your writing. Use
a word like ‘bored’ in one paragraph and the chances are that you’ll have used
it in a subsequent paragraph. I also find it useful when deciding if a
character’s dialogue stays in, er, character;
·
It’ll give you a feel for the times when the
story starts to drag. And if you’re
bored (told you!) reading it, the chances are that your reader will too; and,
·
Reading aloud gives you a sense of the rhythm of
your writing (and here I’m gonna get all new-age), telling you whether it
flows, man. When you’ve nailed it, Paragraph One will segue naturally and seamlessly
into Paragraph Two and so on and son … you won’t notice the joins.
ROD’S RULE OF WRITING
# 8: Read what you’ve written aloud. Not only will it tell you an awful lot
about how good or bad your work is, but it’s very entertaining for your
partner.
Well, that’s it folks. I hope you found this useful. Best of
luck with your writing and don’t forget to take the pills … writing is, after
all, an addictive disorder.
